FaithRalston.com

Dear Dr. Faith,

I work in a customer service department. I have two colleagues who work with me. The problem is they don't get alone. Both complain to me about each other. I'm tired of being in the middle. What can I do?

Dear Torn Apart,

Every police officer knows the danger of getting involved in domestic disputes. Here are three keys to stay out of the middle and keep your career on track:

Don't take sides

Remain neutral. Don't agree with one or the other. When the bad-mouthing starts, simply say; "I don't want to hear about this."

Take a stand.

Say, "I like both of you. If you have a problem with this person, take it up with her- not me."

Be direct.

Model the behavior you want to see. Share your own frustration. Speak up about what you want.

Overall, don't let your career get derailed by conflicts that don't concern you. Recognize how easily you can become a pawn in their game. The conflict may continue, but you don't have to be part of it.

Dear Dr Faith,

I'm a regular member of a sales support group In meetings, my experience is that people are often rude, talking when others are trying to speak. Recently I've been asked to become the leader of this group. I'm willing to bet you have some good ideas for facilitating a meeting.

Dear New Facilitator,

As the new leader of this group, you can start fresh. Here's some ideas to get started on the right foot.

Women like to talk. Allow 5 - 10 minutes up front for social chit chat. It will make the meeting go smoother. Then get down to business!

Ø Establish groundrules.

In your first meeting establish ground rules about how you want to work together. Sample ground rules are: "We will respect each other's opinion; We will have an agenda; We will address our concerns openly. We will be on time... etc."

Ø Seek permission.

Say; "I'd like to facilitate this meeting. This means I'll keep an eye on our agenda and move the discussion along. Is this OK with you?"

Ø Solicit input.

Routinely ask the group: "What's working well in our meetings? What might work better?" What suggestions do you have?"

Ø Agree on goals.

Get specific about the goals this team wants to achieve.

Ø Ask for help.

Say, "I need your help in making this meeting go well. If you think we are going in the wrong direction, please peak up. I welcome your input and ideas."

With these simple guidelines, you'll be on your way to a productive and fun meeting.

Dear Reader,

Are you frazzled by all the twists and turns your career is taking? Is your career like a Bumper Car ride at the Minnesota State Fair?

Every morning you jump out of bed - eager for the adventure ahead. The whistle blows and soon you're careening around the circle, grabbing onto a tiny wheel that gives you the illusion of control.

There's lots of cars maneuvering and bumping into you. You're jostled awake by the competitive fray.

You spot an opening. So you grip your wheel and try to plunge ahead. Then BANG, an unexpected change jolts you from behind. NOW you're going backwards! Quickly, you turn around and swerve to avoid the danger zone ahead.

In this frenetic world, you notice the mixture of timid souls weaving their way through the rubbery jungle, and daredevils ramming full speed ahead. You try to steer clear of the bullies and press peddle-to-the-metal towards your next creative endeavor. It takes more effort than you think to make progress.

The secret to success in this game of work is simple-

1. Hold on with both hands.
2. Avoid head-on collisions.
3. Rebound quickly.
4. Look for openings.
5. Keep moving ahead.

The worse that can happen is you'll short out and get stuck on the sidelines! But if you're lucky, you'll make it around the ring a time or two, bump into some good friends - and laugh at the craziness!

Topics

• Developing Employees
• Promoting Teamwork
• Resolving Conflicts